Chanel me asap

Dear readers, my blog is now at Vox.

Witness my very first professional makeup installation, courtesy of Chanel. Note the standard issue Hollywood bronzer a la Lohan, Theron and Stone. Literally, one of the two makeup artists who got me like this in an hour does makeup for Sharon Stone.

He said that I should never do stripes of blush because, "Nobody blushes like that." I said, "I think they think they're sculpting" to which he replied, "That's so amateur."

By popular demand, here's some backstory. When I went in to Nordstroms to buy Black Satin Chanel nail polish, the saleswoman twisted my rubber arm into a makeover by namedropping Sharon Stone's makeup artist.

That was more than enough to pencil in my appointment and brows. The expectation is that you buy some stuff as a thank you to the artists, and they get a commission. I bought eight products. Everyone's happy.

So once I was in the full-tilt gloss mode pictured above, I brought appetizers and a pasta pot to a lovely candlelit dinner party at Eitzel's. He lives a block away, so I didn't even get mussed in transit. In fact, I woke up in this makeup.

And now, when I apply my "Rose Petale" blush in the proper places, I get the wafting scent of rose petals and a reminder of being all pampered and fancy.